Manage your feelings and deal with your flaws

Destructive Self-Esteem

Inferiority Complex is a destructive self-esteem that can hinder one from associating correctly with their fellow human beings, it is a negative personality functional disorder caused by intense feeling produced from extreme reticence or overcompensation from lack of self-confidence.

These feelings have no limit when it comes to age and size, and it doesn’t only occur to illiterates but also to learned people with exposure, very common among prominent and rich people. It is a constant approach that occurs in every social contact between two people and more, and it commences as soon as one starts analysing and comparing themselves with the other people or when there is a conflict of interest and the other manages to outdo the other then fear, envy, insecurity and jealousy sets in and then it produces Inferiority complex.

As challenges heats up people generate Inferiority complex and many just chickens out from their self-esteem and conclude; I´m not good enough, I‘m useless etc. and they´re never able to stand up to their guts to face reality while some as soon as challenges gets tougher they use Superiority complex to cover up their fears and weakness and, then you´ll see attention seeking in gear 6 “show-off” and this kind of people end up not being in harmony with themselves, their surrounding and society.

Some people stay inferiorly oppressed and then move to Superiority complex to console and compensate their insecurity with the means of exercising control over others. All these are psychological defences, in general, we humans like to lie to ourselves about the truth and we refuse to face reality instead we look for shortcuts that are not based on facts to compensate our insecurity.




  • Finding the cause of the feelings: Inferiority complex can be caused by constant failure, search for self-enhancement, external or self-criticism and trauma from past childhood experience. You need to trace the feeling and deal with it once and for all, if not this feeling will hunt you all your life and it will make you lose confidence in yourself. On the other hand, failure is not a sad thing, it makes you see what you´ve done wrong and if you reflex back you can see how you went wrong and how to correct it.

Lundin, Robert W. Adler, Alfred. Basic Concepts and Implications, pp. 55-56, 1931.

 “Inferiority feelings are not in themselves abnormal. They are the cause of all improvements in the position of mankind. Science itself, for example, can arise only when people feel their ignorance and their need to further the future…”

  • Postive self talk: Negative self-talk is one of the major cause of low self-esteem and pessimism which later leads to inferiority complex. Is good to evaluate ourselves time to time to know when to improve for growth and while on the evaluating process is advisable to think positive and speak good of yourself, talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.Self Hating is destructive
  • Comparison: Avoid comparing your capability with other people’s – do what you can and leave the rest.


  • Be rational: Be genuine and truthful to yourself and stop copying or trying to be other people. If you try to be like others you´ll find yourself diverting from being you to somebody else and you’ll spend more effort and time on enhancing someone else´s image.


  • Competition: Competition is a major key factor of inferiority complex and is very common in organizations, community and even in family unit, people are only more concerned with winning a trophy, as time passes by, we find out that human relationships is diminishing. Don’t bring anyone down because you want to be noticed control your feelings and handle your flaw.


  • Enhance self confidence: Study your emotions and create time to build your confidence even if it takes you to stand in from of a mirror which is a very good way to start, look at your reflexion eyeball to eyeball and speak rich words to yourself repetitively, and the next task will be – believe in those words, let them make meaning to you and put them to action “PTA”, Reticence is immaturity and age doesn’t mean maturity. Must of all don’t let anyone limit you from your freedom of speech.Positive Self Talk


  • Create room for social interaction: Don’t be a snail that hides when it feels peoples presence, you don´t need to hide or withdraw yourself from the world, come out and mix up with people. You need to motivate and push yourself to make conversations, be friendly and others will reciprocate.


  • Be neutral: Be yourself, don’t place yourself inferior or superior just maintain a neutral state of mind so you can easily adapt to any environment. Some people can be pushy and will want to toss you around just keep your cool and act matured. Remember you’ve be working on enhancing your self-confidence and now is time to PTA.


  • Healthy environment: Surround yourself with health thoughts and positive people and withdraw from fake people because their friendship is worthless, their aim will only be to bring your self-esteem down because they are inferiorly complexed and looking for who to boost their confidence with.


  • Humans beings are equal: This is the last point and I intentionally kept it for the last as the dessert of this topic, though it may not sound as sweet as a dessert because it sounds like a bomb but I need to say it because it happens all around the world in this 21th Century and it saddens my heart, and it is a big disaster to human relationship. I have encountered phobia from some ignorant white people who have complex about dark skin people because they think they are higher, intelligent, better, smarter. Hello! that’s your opinion because you´re locked up in your feelings. Last time, I checked, you still live in this planet earth, you breathe, walk, speak, move, sleep, eat, shit, reproduce the same way and even called yourself human, so what makes you think you are different and better? This is superiority complex and you need to start working on your feelings.

Lundin, Robert W. Adler, Alfred. Basic Concepts and Implications, pp. 55-56, 1931.

“Indeed, it seems to be that all our human culture is based upon feelings of inferiority… men are the weakest of all creatures.” 

And I have also met some white people who think we are equal human beings and it is good to know that there are still exceptions to this conclusion.

Dear friends please stay positive always, if life was a bed of roses it will be a boring place to live, so adapt to whatever comes and if you don´t like it try to make an improvement, if you don´t succeed try again, and make it a priority to prove only to yourself and not to anyone else.

Thank you all for reading this article and i´ll like to hear your personal challenges and improvements so feel free to comment, and we can also be friends on social media.

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    1. Thank you Africa. I’m glad it made sense to you. Thank you once again for taking time to read this article.


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