Do you know that happiness is from within? You might think it comes by living a lush life where you have almost everything (expensive car, roof over your top, wear designers ) in abundance sadly enough none of these things will make you substantially happy. Happiness is an inner peace you find in the mind and it can only get better if you drive yourself to being a better person everyday.
Happiness is a state of mind and it can fluctuate! It is not just something you can stumble upon in a day or the other it’s a process and needs constant monitoring of the functionings of the mind to become happy. Most people might bemoan the fact that real happiness doesn’t exist, well YES it does just that we seek the things that gives us temporal pleasure as happiness and when that fun is gone we’re back to square one – Sad, Depressed, Lonely etc. Unfortunately we tend to lookup to superficial happiness and overlook the real source to our well-being, according to scientific research “What we consider would make great difference in our lives only make small difference”.
Last week Friday, as I was scrolling through my Instagram feeds I came across a young beautiful Instagram influencer who is suffering from depression and I felt touched, what really triggered my interest was the fact that she was bold enough to come up on Social Media to say her problem which is “a problem shared, a problem solved” and I don’t want to fold my arms and not help so I decided to write this article to help not just only her but also others that are still in a shell nursing this great illness.
Go check her out and show some love
Depression is always something I’m afraid to talk about. I think there is such a negative stigma around it, so I try to stay away from it all together. I’d much rather suffer in silence and not post on social media. But I want to open up to you guys more. First I want to tell you thank you so much. Most of my followers might already know I struggle with depression. Some days I have no motivation to post or even create. It can be so crippling. It’s not something you can turnoff once it becomes chronic. It took me a while to see that it’s okay if I struggle, it’s okay if I’m “depressed”. Nothing about me has to change because of this illness. I learned to nurture the depressed side of myself over this past year. I learned to be okay with my sadness and not reject that part of myself. Because I didn’t realize that I was hurting myself more by constantly trying to eradicate that side of myself. It’s a part of me and to dismiss any part of myself is essentially self hatred. The only way I learned to feel better on my darkest days is to sit with my depression. I learned to ask it questions. Like “ what do you need from me? “ “ how can I help you today ?” “Do you want me to sit with you today for a little bit and then get back on track ?” I learned I had to nurture myself the way I’ve always wanted to be nurtured in order to heal that part of me. I learned to be more compassionate with myself and with others who don’t understand. Others that wanted me to just feel better. My advice to anyone who is going through a tough time or depression/Anxiety is to show yourself compassion. After all depression isn’t something that shows up over night so don’t expect it to go away over night. Be kind to it, be kind to yourself. Remember your not alone in this. ❤️
Hey I may sound like a professional psychotherapist sincerely 😁 I’m not, I’m just a PR Bachelor holder who have learnt and made research, and want to share with those that might need help. So I created these guide to finding happiness again!
1. Acknowledge the problem
Give up your fears and admit you have a problem. A person who is ill and doesn’t admit he/she is wont be able to get out of it and it will also be difficult for a doctor to help you and administrate the like drugs.
2. Track-down the cause
There are a whole lot of things that can deprive you from being happy and you should be able to pin point which one exactly. It could be Grieve, Sadness, Loneliness, Work stress etc.
Negative thinking or talking can bring your self-esteem down because basically it is the master killer of happiness and it can drain you down the pipe line of depression and then loosing your self-worth.
4. Conquer your fears
You’re human and its absolutely normal to be vulnerable but you need to stand up for yourself and defeat those negative thoughts, I wont say its easy but you need to try, and don’t underestimate your strength because you’re a super woman/man.
5. Self encouragement
Nobody can do it better than you do, you know yourself better and know what you need “HAPPINESS” so go get it at all cost. Prioritize in doing what you love, it might be little things you ignore like sleeping enough, going for a walk in the park, handcraft, reading, music. On the late note please don’t listen to sad music because it will only discourage you from being strong.
6. Checklist your improvement
It is important to know where you started from and where you want to get to so that you’ll know where you are at the moment, and if you see any improvement highlight it because it will be a guideline to follow so as to stay on track to your happiness. Every improvement is an achievement and gradually happiness will fill its space in your heart.
7. Avoid exhaustion
Exhaustion is a terrible state to find oneself, it can make you do things you wont do on a normal day. It is important to know your limits when you’re tired try take a break if possible. A common place you can find exhaustion is at work place and it can get complicated and become Burnout. Let me give you and instance of an hospital employee who’s duty is to take patients in a wheelchair, and sometimes he pushes the patients as if they were an object. He’s act may seem inhuman but the truth is that he’s feed-up and exhausted as hell and needs a break.
Self concept: Opinion one has about oneself
Self-esteem: Valuation of oneself
Self-efficacy: Ones ability and strength
Conduct: The way one acts
Exhaustion generates Stress, Burnout and finally depression, and the two components of depression are: Sadness and Lost of Self esteem, if you find yourself here you need to snap out of it quickly before you endanger your health.
8. Manage Your Stress
This is easy said than done, I understand that you’re completely exhausted but you need to find a balance, start doing something new like creating more time for yourself, catching enough sleep, eating healthy food and exercising (aerobic, yoga, meditation, dancing class etc) regularly.
9. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
You are you so start being yourself and not somebody else, that persons feet might be stinking and only her knows so never wish to be in another persons shoes. You can do all things if you push yourself because you have your own abilities and strengths.
10. Speak out your problem
Don’t be shy to share your problems with your family or to a liable friend but also consider it necessary to speak with a specialist. Opening up makes the load more easier to carry because you’ll find someone who’s ready to share the load with you. Help only comes by speaking out, If you’re in Europe you can call the hotline 112 for any emergency.
Read more about what other bloggers are saying about finding HAPPINESS
Depression stole your happiness? Well here’s how to find solve it!
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